


I Wish For This

by Dean_loves_Cas_forever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: An Ending Lottery, Angst, But Dean Blames Him, But If You Know My Work You'll Know How This Will End, Crying Dean Winchester, Dead Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Dean Winchester Has Feelings, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester Prays, Episode: s13e01 Lost and Found, Happy Ending?, Hopeful ending?, Ignoring The Events Of Episode 2-6, Jack Kline Needs A Hug, Jack Kline Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jack Wants Dean To Be His Dad Too, Jack Wants Dean To Love Him, Lines Taken Directly From The Script, M/M, Sad Dean Winchester, Sad ending?, Temporary Character Death, They're Sort Of Mashed Together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:27:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29083110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dean_loves_Cas_forever/pseuds/Dean_loves_Cas_forever
Summary: The aftermath of Castiel's death at the beginning of season 13
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 2





	I Wish For This

**Author's Note:**

> I'm rewatching season 13 and I wanted to write something for it; I'm also procrastinating from assignments, and literally every other WIP I'm currently working on. If this goes how I plan, it could be sad but I don't know how well I can write angst, so this is a fun experiment for myself.
> 
> Disclaimer, I obviously own nothing but this fic even if some lines of dialogue or some scenes come directly from the show  
> Any resemblance (if there is any) to other fics is unintentional and/or a coincidence because I don't read angsty or sad stories when they're not an AU

_"Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call,"_

Dean had just started to believe that, that Cas wanted to stay with them, be a family with them. But now, it didn't matter how many times he called, Cas just wasn't coming back; and he'd been calling for hours. He'd been knelt by Cas' body calling, screaming, for him to come back. But he didn't. He could see Cas' wings burnt into the mud, he had seen Cas' grace burn out, the blade ripping though the angel. 

But now he was gone. 

If Dean hadn't have see it happen himself, he wouldn't have believed it.

His best friend was dead.

A lump formed in his throat when that thought crossed the forefront of his mind. Dead, actually dead, not coming back. Dead. His heart clenched painfully and he fell back onto his heels, his eyes falling shut and a tear sliding down his cheek. He'd heard Sam leave a while ago. He didn't bother to ask where he was going, he didn't care. He couldn't leave Cas' side. Not now.

Fear, rage... sorrow and loss. All surging through his body, through his mind. All fighting for the top spot but they were all equally strong, all weighing him down. So much stronger than they ever had been before; after everything that had happened in his life, this was the worse. Seeing Castiel laying motionless in front of him, wings spread out in all their glory in the worst way possible, blood staining the white shirt. This was the lowest moment of his life, winning even over his time in Hell. And now, he couldn't see a way out.

There was no light at the end of his tunnel this time, not even Hellfire. A sob ripped through him but he shoved it down. He took one last glance at Cas before he pulled out his gun and stormed towards the house.He was letting rage take the wheel for a minute.

He bounded up the stairs, shouting out for Sam as he went. He barged into the nursery, gun raised. A man, a teenager, was stood in front of Sam, his head tilted to the side in confusion. Just like Cas. 

"Dean, don't." Sam said quickly upon seeing his brother. He laid his hand on Dean's gun, pushing it down and away from the boy. "Jack, it's ok." Sam's voice softened and quietened, his hand in front of him in surrender. The boy, Jack, frowned at Dean but his face relaxed.

"He k-" Dean started but he choked on his words before he could get them out. His free hand clenched angrily and he glared at Jack then stepped back. "I'm going to move Cas." Dean decided. He replaced his gun into his waistband as he turned, not looking back at Jack. He already hated the boy for brainwashing and killing Cas, but he looked like Cas too?! He could barely stand to look at him. He shoved his feelings away as he always did and headed back outside. He walked towards Cas, his steps cautious as though Cas would sit up and greet him. Even as he knelt down, he expected those sun-through-ocean eyes to open with a 'Hello Dean'. But alas, the angel didn't move, his eyes didn't open, he didn't deliver his iconic one-liner. Dean blinked away the new tears pooling in his eyes then, once he could see clearly again, he carefully maneuvered Cas into his arms, safely anchoring him against his chest. He paused. His eyes lifting to the clear sky, stars glinting brightly; a stark contrast to the pure darkness he felt. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like his life force, his reason to live, had been snatched away from him. And it had. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you." Dean whispered into the angel's ear as he laid him gently on the table. Once again, Castiel's voice drifted into his mind; _you can't save everyone, my friend... though, you try_. Castiel's comforting words were often a welcome change to the self-depreciation that usually ran through, however, now, he wouldn't get to see the mix of fond sadness and adoration, he'd never get to see that again. This didn't feel like all those other times, this felt final. Like the end of the line. Reluctantly, he laid a sheet over Cas' body. With a deep, shaky sigh, he took one last look at Cas' face then he covered it. 

"I think we should take Jack back to the Bunker." Sam's voice startled him out of his daze. Dean wiped all the emotions off his face then he turned to his baby brother. 

"No." He said simply. Dean turned his back on Sam again then ripped the curtains off the rails. Sam watched with a sympathetic frown and stepped forward. 

"He was just born, Dean, he needs to be somewhere safe. Bunker's the safest place there is." Sam tried. Dean ignored his brother and tied the sheet around Cas' body with the torn curtains. "I don't think he's evil, he's scared." Dean scoffed but didn't reply. 

"I don't care about the kid, Sam." Dean said bluntly when he finished covering Cas. Without a word, Dean stormed out of the house to collect logs, leaving Sam watching after him helpless. 

"Sam." A timid voice asked. Sam turned, plastering a grin on his face.

"Hi Jack. Have you got everything you need?" Sam asked softly. Jack looked down at the bag in his hand and shifted uncomfortable. "Are those clothes alright?" 

"Yes, thank you." Jack answered eventually. "Where's... Dean?" He looked around expectantly, looking for the older Winchester, and his eyes fell on the sheet covered body. "Is... is this my father?" Jack asked hesitantly, reaching is hand out to lay it on Cas' chest. 

"Yes, that's Castiel." Sam had been confused when Jack first asked about his father, thinking that the nephilim was looking for Lucifer, but Jack quickly corrected him, saying that Castiel was his chosen father, that he had decided that the angel would be able to teach him to be good, to be loving and kind, that Castiel and the Winchester's would be the best family for him. Jack frowned and closed his eyes, allowing himself a moment of thought. He laid his other hand on Cas' chest and stepped closer to the man. 

"Hey, get away from him." Jack's eyes snapped open and whirled around at the loud shout. Dean shoved Jack out of the way and put himself between Cas and Jack. "Don't touch him." He growled. Jack frowned, not realising that the beginning of tears were in his eyes. 

"Dean." Sam scolded. Dean merely shot his brother a deathly glare before sliding the glare to the new nephilim. 

"Don't touch him." Dean repeated. Jack nodded obediently but gazed at the body on the table sadly. 

"But he..." Jack started.

"Don't just don't." Dean interrupted, "You don't get to say anything about him, not you." Dean could feel the lump rising in his throat again and bit back the tears. Sam looked at his brother thoughtfully and then looked at Cas' body, a switch flicking in his mind as he processed the emptiness behind Dean's eyes. Jack looked to Sam, confused and lost. Dean lifted Cas into his arms tenderly, cradling the angel against him. Sam watched Dean carry Cas out to the pyre for his funeral. 

"I don't understand, Castiel, he said..." Jack trailed off sadly. Sam patted Jack on the shoulder comfortingly and lead him outside to join Dean. 

"You wanna say anything?" Sam asked Jack as they watched Dean pour gasoline over the pyre. Jack tilted his head to the side.

"I... What do you say?" Jack questioned softly. He didn't want to disturb Dean, make him angry again.

"Right. Thank you. You say thank you. And you say you're sorry. You hope they're somewhere without, uh, sadness or pain. You hope they're somewhere better. You say goodbye." Sam explained. Sam didn't take his eyes off the way Dean prepared for the funeral; empty, mechanical, a shell of a man he once was. Dean threw his lighter into the logs and stepped back in line with his brother.

"Goodbye Crowley. Goodbye Kelly. Goodbye Mom... G-goodbye... Cas." Dean recited. He watched the flames for a moment, lost in thought. Suddenly, in a flash of movement, Dean was gone from next to Sam and, a few seconds later, the sound of the Impala's door could be heard. 

"Is he ok?" Jack asked.

"He, Cas meant a lot to him." Sam explained with a shrug. Jack nodded in understanding as though he'd known them for years and the simple sentence made complete sense in regards to how the two interacted. Sam's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the nod, Jack had never seen Cas and Dean interact. 

"I often spoke to my father, before I was born..." Jack elaborated when he saw Sam's face, "He spoke fondly of you and Dean." Sam smiled softly upon hearing that; he knew that Cas regarded him as a brother but he was never sure. 

"Come on, let's go back to the Bunker." Sam said, wrapping an arm around Jack's shoulders. 

"Back... home?" Jack queried shyly. Sam smiled to himself.

"Yeah, Jack. Back home." 

\----

When they returned to the Bunker, Dean retreated straight to his room, completely ignoring his brother and the nephilim. He couldn't look at the boy. Jack watched Dean leave sadly, his eyes watering slightly. 

"Jack?" Sam asked when he noticed the boy's look. Jack frowned and slowly turned around to face Sam.

"This isn't how it was supposed to be." Jack replied simply. Sam gazed at him sympathetically and picked up his bag. 

"Come on, I'll put you between me and Dean." Sam said. He guided Jack down the halls until he reached the corridor that held their room. Both of them froze then they heard a soft, broken scream. Sam signaled for Jack to stay put and tip-toed towards Dean's room. When he quietly opened the door, the wails grew louder. Dean was laying face down on his bed, his face buried in his pillow, and Sam could see his shoulders shaking violently as his older brother sobbed. Sam's heart broke at the hurt wails and cries coming from Dean. He'd never seen Dean break like that, not after any of their deaths. It was normally anger and vengeance not uncontrollable tears and sadness, not like this. He blinked back the tears forming in his own eyes and backed away slowly, leaving Dean to let it out in peace. Without another word, Sam opened the door that Jack was stood in front of then retreated to his own room. 

Jack looked around the room then turned his head towards the sounds of Dean's sorrow. His chest hurt. He was only a few hours old he didn't know how to process all the emotions he was feeling; the anger, the sadness, the joy, the confusion. So he did it in the only way he knew how. Soon enough, his cries joined Dean's, both echoing through the corridors of the bunker. 


End file.
